Titbidfen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, competent giraffe.

Titbidfen created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titbidfen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Titbidfen, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Titbidfen's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Titbidfen's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Titbidfen five times a day.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

5. Put Titbidfen first in all things.