Cudvidlap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain eagle.

Cudvidlap created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Cudvidlap, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudvidlap, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cudvidlap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Cudvidlap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five badgers approach from the west.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Never paint your face green.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never eat beans.