Zimdobwitsomflanlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, astonishing eagle.

Zimdobwitsomflanlarn created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimdobwitsomflanlarn, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zimdobwitsomflanlarn, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zimdobwitsomflanlarn's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Zimdobwitsomflanlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Hide from blue moths for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about fire.