Tifdibartranlegpanransad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast troll.

Tifdibartranlegpanransad created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Tifdibartranlegpanransad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifdibartranlegpanransad, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tifdibartranlegpanransad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tifdibartranlegpanransad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick nematodes.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Do not hurt doves.