Genjigstik is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered hyena.

Genjigstik created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Genjigstik, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Genjigstik, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Genjigstik's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Genjigstik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Genjigstik.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Retreat if three otters approach from the north.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.