Koplinfod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous lobster.

Koplinfod created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Koplinfod, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Koplinfod, she will turn you into a sheep.

Koplinfod's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Koplinfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never mention great tits.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.