Dodkamlipwat is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, calm fairy.

Dodkamlipwat created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodkamlipwat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dodkamlipwat, he will not care at all.

Dodkamlipwat's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Dodkamlipwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Dodkamlipwat on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never hurt monkeys.