Cepbagjam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, caring meerkat.

Cepbagjam created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepbagjam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cepbagjam, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cepbagjam's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Cepbagjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

4. Never think ill of sick sheep.

5. Do not stand on grass.