Ruttyartgig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish hedgehog.

Ruttyartgig created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttyartgig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ruttyartgig, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ruttyartgig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Ruttyartgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ruttyartgig.