Cetfotzig Fummabmon is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, pitiless bat.

Cetfotzig Fummabmon created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetfotzig Fummabmon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetfotzig Fummabmon, it will cry a lot.

Cetfotzig Fummabmon's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cetfotzig Fummabmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed strawberries to whales while wearing orange tights.