Xucnatflig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable hamster.

Xucnatflig created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucnatflig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucnatflig, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Xucnatflig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Xucnatflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head black.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away from mauve pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Never wear turquoise scarves.