Zimwanbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, duplicitous warg.

Zimwanbeg created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimwanbeg, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zimwanbeg, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zimwanbeg's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Zimwanbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zimwanbeg.

5. Never pour water over plants.