Flabpinomin is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered mongoose.

Flabpinomin created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabpinomin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flabpinomin, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flabpinomin's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Flabpinomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Do not take Flabpinomin's name in vain.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Retreat if seven eagles approach from the north.

5. Put Flabpinomin first in all things.