Vadkarbiss Fobnillim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring crow.

Vadkarbiss Fobnillim created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vadkarbiss Fobnillim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vadkarbiss Fobnillim, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vadkarbiss Fobnillim's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Vadkarbiss Fobnillim's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. You must pray to Vadkarbiss Fobnillim eight times a day.