Omtbigtap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, two-faced meerkat.

Omtbigtap created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtbigtap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Omtbigtap, she will refuse to believe in you.

Omtbigtap's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Omtbigtap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if nine frogs approach from the north.

3. Always obey Omtbigtap's priests.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must never eat parsnips.