Bengenmap is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, cheerful slug.

Bengenmap created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bengenmap, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bengenmap, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bengenmap's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bengenmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Run away from mauve great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Always treat ants with great respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Respect your elders.