Kimnarlgub is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, prudent porpoise.

Kimnarlgub created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimnarlgub, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kimnarlgub, she will turn you into a goat.

Kimnarlgub's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kimnarlgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Kimnarlgub's priests.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never bounce near horses.

5. Never go into black rooms.