Zigparking is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, idiotic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zigparking created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigparking, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zigparking, he will manifest in front of you.

Zigparking's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zigparking's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Put Zigparking first in all things.

3. Do not hurt bats.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always obey Zigparking's priests.