Fotnurflig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate raccoon.

Fotnurflig created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fotnurflig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fotnurflig, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fotnurflig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fotnurflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Never feed peanuts to snakes while wearing fawn skirts.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.