Veenkopwip is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured giraffe.

Veenkopwip created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenkopwip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Veenkopwip, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Veenkopwip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Veenkopwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not take Veenkopwip's name in vain.