Dudhombotfat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humane clam.

Dudhombotfat created the Milkyway eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dudhombotfat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudhombotfat, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dudhombotfat's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dudhombotfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve kilts.

2. Always look after injured tapirs.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Never mention ducks.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.