Lamparkdod is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, dishonest wombat.

Lamparkdod created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamparkdod, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamparkdod, he will destroy your favourite star.

Lamparkdod's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Lamparkdod's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lamparkdod.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not take Lamparkdod's name in vain.