Quafjabpit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, weak mouse.

Quafjabpit created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafjabpit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quafjabpit, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Quafjabpit's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Quafjabpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never run near dolphins.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Quafjabpit on top of all buildings.