Watbimtag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm chinchilla.

Watbimtag created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watbimtag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Watbimtag, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Watbimtag's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Watbimtag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Watbimtag on top of important buildings.

3. Watbimtag loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed aubergines to seals while wearing pink kilts.