Wonomtgut is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless coyote.

Wonomtgut created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonomtgut, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Wonomtgut, it will turn you into a rock.

Wonomtgut's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Wonomtgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick capybaras.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

3. Never feed cucumbers to ducks while wearing fawn boots.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.