Arpfebbif Cadsidwabtag is a god.

He takes the form of a large, resourceful guinea pig.

Arpfebbif Cadsidwabtag created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Arpfebbif Cadsidwabtag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Arpfebbif Cadsidwabtag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Arpfebbif Cadsidwabtag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Arpfebbif Cadsidwabtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Hide from purple badgers for they are unholy.

5. Never wear indigo trousers.