Dotponstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow crab.

Dotponstaf created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotponstaf, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dotponstaf, she will make you grow a tail.

Dotponstaf's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dotponstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Always help bats in need.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not hurt porpoises.

5. Put Dotponstaf first in all things.