Quimtimhas is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, omniscient crab.

Quimtimhas created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimtimhas, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quimtimhas, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Quimtimhas' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Quimtimhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Never hurt seals.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never eat green fruit.