Nignulrak is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, irritating newt.

Nignulrak created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nignulrak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nignulrak, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Nignulrak's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nignulrak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Run away if nine voles approach from the east.