Cemgeprap is a god.

She takes the form of a large, competent elephant.

Cemgeprap created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemgeprap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemgeprap, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Cemgeprap's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cemgeprap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cemgeprap.

2. Always help swans.

3. Never mention grasshopers.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.