Nurtgigrow is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, proud shark.

Nurtgigrow created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtgigrow, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtgigrow, it will torture you forever.

Nurtgigrow's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Nurtgigrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.