Stipvenmum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witless aardvark.

Stipvenmum created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipvenmum, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stipvenmum, she will jump up and down on your head.

Stipvenmum's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Stipvenmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Stipvenmum must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Stipvenmum on top of all buildings.