Dutbinweg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish jaguar.

Dutbinweg created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutbinweg, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dutbinweg, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dutbinweg's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Dutbinweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras in need.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must pray to Dutbinweg five times a day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.