Dibdossyakcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful dryad.

Dibdossyakcuss created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dibdossyakcuss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dibdossyakcuss, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dibdossyakcuss' most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dibdossyakcuss' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dibdossyakcuss.

2. Never feed tomatoes to seals while wearing turquoise shirts.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help badgers.

5. Hide from black swans for they are unholy.