Bedbodquag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unfair monkey.

Bedbodquag created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedbodquag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bedbodquag, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bedbodquag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bedbodquag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bedbodquag.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.