Quimmegfat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, contented newt.

Quimmegfat created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimmegfat, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quimmegfat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Quimmegfat's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Quimmegfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.