Canlapcet is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, quiet sheep.

Canlapcet created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canlapcet, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Canlapcet, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Canlapcet's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Canlapcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Canlapcet on top of important buildings.

4. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the south.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.