Gebcipfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, astonishing shark.

Gebcipfarn created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebcipfarn, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gebcipfarn, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Gebcipfarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gebcipfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Never feed garlic to swans while wearing turquoise shoes.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Gebcipfarn must be the most important thing in your life.