Gepgabhenwit is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humane frog.

Gepgabhenwit created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepgabhenwit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gepgabhenwit, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gepgabhenwit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gepgabhenwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the west.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gepgabhenwit.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about black holes.