Pibvedtin Sandcumshav is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet walrus.

Pibvedtin Sandcumshav created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibvedtin Sandcumshav, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pibvedtin Sandcumshav, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pibvedtin Sandcumshav's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Pibvedtin Sandcumshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Never jump in the presence of swans.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Pibvedtin Sandcumshav loves rats, so they must be honoured.

5. Always treat doves with great respect.