Nulcatflam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, self-assured shark.

Nulcatflam created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulcatflam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nulcatflam, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nulcatflam's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Nulcatflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. You must love Nulcatflam.

5. Fast once a month.