Gondonqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous rhinoceros.

Gondonqueeg created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gondonqueeg, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gondonqueeg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gondonqueeg's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gondonqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never feed garlic to capybaras while wearing blue hats.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never paint your hands violet.

5. Always take life seriously.