Tartagdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, narcissistic wasp.

Tartagdoss created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tartagdoss, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tartagdoss, she will turn you into a hamster.

Tartagdoss' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tartagdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.