Timbesstiggonbetdavrutvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, strong gorilla.

Timbesstiggonbetdavrutvonk created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timbesstiggonbetdavrutvonk, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Timbesstiggonbetdavrutvonk, it will manifest in front of you.

Timbesstiggonbetdavrutvonk's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Timbesstiggonbetdavrutvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Always treat great tits with great respect.

5. Timbesstiggonbetdavrutvonk must be the most important thing in your life.
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