Tettisanwab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, moody pig.

Tettisanwab created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettisanwab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tettisanwab, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tettisanwab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tettisanwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never paint your arms brown.

5. Never bounce in holy places.