Yatdavhad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, benevolent beaver.

Yatdavhad created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatdavhad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yatdavhad, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yatdavhad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yatdavhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Yatdavhad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.