Satcadflat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent jaguar.

Satcadflat created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satcadflat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Satcadflat, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Satcadflat's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Satcadflat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Satcadflat must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Put Satcadflat first in all things.

5. Always stare at clouds.