Besstettigum is a god.

She takes the form of a small, narcissistic porpoise.

Besstettigum created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Besstettigum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Besstettigum, she will manifest in front of you.

Besstettigum's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Besstettigum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Do not eat bread.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.