Bugmabnur Kembotget is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful manatee.

Bugmabnur Kembotget created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bugmabnur Kembotget, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bugmabnur Kembotget, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bugmabnur Kembotget's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bugmabnur Kembotget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Respect your elders.