Timstanfob is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonourable crab.

Timstanfob created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timstanfob, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Timstanfob, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Timstanfob's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Timstanfob's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three porpoises approach from the west.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Timstanfob.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never look in ponds.